areyoutryingtodeduceme:

itsbetterthananal:

my brother is 21 years old and a chef in a 5 star restaurant and he still has dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets for dinner every night so dont let anybody tell you how to live your life

I get paid to write recipes and draw comics about food and blend special tea blends but I’ve had frozen/left over pizza for dinner for the last five days so don’t let anybody tell you how to live your life.

Me:  I took Bug (my little brother) on a drive tonight to calm him down and help him sleep
Mom:  Aww honey that's so sweet
Me:  Yeah we got totally lost
Dad:  Of course you did
Me:  Yeah up in the back woods
Mom:  Oh that's scary
Me:  Yeah, so it's like dark and in the middle of the woods so I stop the car-
Dad:  YOU WHAT!?
Me:  I stopped the car?
Dad:  WHAT WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?
Me:  We were lost..
Dad:  HAVE WE TAUGHT YOU NOTHING!?
Mom:  HOW- WHY WOULD YOU-
Mom:  DO YOU WANT TO BE THE FIRST 5 MINUTES OF SUPERNATURAL
Me:  
Dad:  
Me:  
Dad:  Of course she does, then those giant men in plaid will show up to save the day. Good job Kat, this is why our daughter is a dumbass.